An Incredibly Late Hello to 2019!

As you are all aware, the New Year was a few months ago. I’m playing catch up in every aspect of my entire life. I don’t know why, but around this time every year I get….stagnant. I’m not sure if I’m depressed, or if it’s the weather, or if life gets hectic during the first few months of the year, but I seem to walk through each day doing the same old routine, never doing anything new besides waking up, working, going to sleep, and eating in between. I feel stuck in a rut around this time every year and I’m not sure why. All I know is that I haven’t written a blog post in a long time, so let me catch you all up.

2018 was the year of change for me. I graduated college, was unemployed, began therapy and medications, started my full time job, started a second job (and quit said second job), got my driver’s license, got my first car, and traveled. There were a lot of times where I had to accept the unknown in my life and I hated it. Time will never slow down so no matter how much I wanted things to stay the same, I had to get used to the fact that my life was dramatically changing and I couldn’t press the brakes on it.

When I look back on 2018 I realize how many things have changed and happened in my life, but while I was going through it all, it didn’t seem like a lot. However, if I’m being honest, I was incredibly lost this past year. I look back on some of my diary entries and the rotten things I said about myself breaks my heart. The words “failure” and “pathetic” show up too many times to count. I was very close to not graduating and unemployment made me feel a new type of low. I was very close to moving back to my hometown and moving in with my parents, and if you’ve been to my hometown, that’s the last thing I should ever do, but I felt like my options were slim and I had nothing going for me.

2018 was a year of change. 2019 is the year of new beginnings. It’s March and for most people, the high of the new year and their resolutions has worn off. But I’m still excited. I still feel like this year will shape up to be amazing and good for everyone. I truly am looking forward to the rest of this year. I am on top of my stuff and I have a work/life balance. It could improve, so that’s what I’m focusing on for the rest of this year. Changing my unhealthy lifestyle to a healthier one, taking vacations and traveling, paying my debts and loans, and ultimately, building stronger friendships.

The crazy part of my life has passed (for now) and I’m ready to slow down, take a deep breath, and look at the scenery. I’m ready to begin building a good life for myself. Even though it’s March, I hope everyone continues to have a great year full of happiness and love.

~M